Hear What Others are Saying
Let me start out by telling you a little of my journey in this life. I had grown up in the church, in a Christian home, doing all the “Christian” things. Around the age of 17, life started to go in a different direction…I began dating a guy who wasn’t following the Lord. Now of course I can blame nothing on this guy but this was the point in my life when I felt the pull of the pleasures of this world. It was a gradual fade. A fade away from my beliefs, away from my faith, away from my Father. A road that took me five years to travel with many heart aches, broken relationships and sin. I had abandoned my relationships with God and my family all but completely.
There were many times when I ignored the pull of the Lord calling me back to Him. It was easier to push Him away than change my new lifestyle. I had become whoever else I needed to be to fit in than who I really was. At the time it was awesome, it was great to be “free”, doing what I wanted to do. But deep down I knew I could not live like this forever. Eventually I became unhappy, unsatisfied with the physical pleasures of this life. I found myself at church Christmas Sunday 2007. This is when the Lord really got a hold of me once again. I knew the way I was living my life would only end in one way…eternal separation from Him (hell).
It took a couple of months to break free from the sin I was living in, but it was amazing to me how quickly the Lord was right there to love, comfort and guide me once again. That’s just part of who He is! It was a tough road to travel, but I know my relationship with Him would not be what it is now if I had not experienced those years. As much as it hurt Him to see me making those decisions, He turned what was meant for evil into good. So why do I share all these details with any one who will be reading this?? To let you know that we have a Father who forgives without counting wrongs, who loves us sooo much He is willing to forget all the times we stabbed Him in the heart, who comes running up to us as soon as we start turning in His direction! Of course we need to come before Him with a repentant heart, a heart willing to change our ways, a heart willing to mold to His conformity.
I kinda told you a lot of my journey…but it all leads up to my experience in the S.E.E.R. Internship. I was introduced to Gateway House of Prayer simultaneously with my breaking off from the old me. The Lord really lead me and pulled at my heart to jump into this, feeling kinda blind-folded, not really knowing what I was getting into, kinda scared of all the ways this could change me…but knowing at the same time there was no place I would rather be! I felt the touch of His presence in this place, I knew it was the real thing.
Going through the Internship really helped to mold me to who I am now. The Internship was a lot of things…spending 20 hours a week set apart with the Lord, fasting food one day a week, fasting media the duration of the Internship, meeting with a mentor, having classes, and assignments…but essentially it all came down to this: desiring to know God and to know Him more and being simply and purely devoted to Him! The Internship was simply a means for this to happen a lot quicker than it would have on my own. Whenever you set your heart to seek God, you will find Him! Being in this lifestyle of intense seeking, praying, fasting… for 5 months really opened up my spirit to who God really is, all the amazing things He has available for me to take hold of, and changed my mind set on how I view my purpose in life. “Who are you and why are you here???” This was one thing that was REALLY instilled in us during this time! It can be kind of overwhelming at first, if you are unsure of who you are and what you are doing, as I was. But we need to ask this question otherwise it is so easy to go through life not truly understanding everything the Lord has called us to be. He has His name written on each and every one of our hearts. He is patient, loving yet powerful and just. He is waiting for you to come to Him. To search Him out. He does not desire for you to be lost in this life. Through all the searching, all the questioning, the Lord was there teaching me new things, showing me His Father’s heart for me, His precious daughter. The S.E.E.R. Internship was the means, the physical reality to direct me to this Heavenly reality that the Creator of the universe wants to know me and me to know Him. I would encourage any of you reading this to ask yourself that one question: Who am I and why am I here? If you desire to grow in your relationship with the Lord, to find more about the things He has waiting for you, or even just to know more of Him for the first time in your life…check out this Internship and I can tell you that your life will be changed in some way. It is very difficult to S.tand, E.ngage, E.ncounter, and R.espond with the Creator of the universe and not be changed! – Vanessa Good “SEER Internship”